Saturday, November 29, 2014

Over A Year

It's been over a year since my last post. Quite disappointing, isn't it? However, I'm very happy to let you know that I have clocked in a great amount of mileage since then.

Mexico, around Alberta, crossed the border to Montana via Waterton Lake, Vancouver, Victoria Island, and most recently, Iceland and Norway. 

I will try my best to share with you my travel experiences before the year ends. So help me god. Well unless you're following me on social media, then nothing here will really wet you're appetite. 

To quote tennis star Rafael Nadal, "I try my best."


Saturday, September 14, 2013

an episode of border security


i always say to myself whenever i'm going home after a trip, "sad that vacation time is ending...but man, the people i'm going home to..."

sooooo.....border security went a bit nonsense on me when i came home on wednesday. canadian border security. 

the first officer i met, the one that you give your customs declaration card to before you claim your baggage, asked me the most ridonkiloustic questions. 

"are you traveling by yourself?"

"yes."

"where are you coming from?"

"san francisco. i had a layover in seattle on my way here."

"what did you do in san francisco?"

"visited my cousins."

with a very grumpy poker face, "why do you go there often?"

"to see my cousins and to see the city."

"male or female?"

"pardon me?"

just douchey straight face, "your cousins, male or female?"

(**my inside voice** "does it freakin matter?!")
"both."

"why are you traveling by yourself?"

"because i like traveling by myself. less hassle with planning."

suspicious face, "you brought back $200 worth of goods?"

"yes."

suspicious face with more eyebrow action, "such as?"

"clothing. souvenirs. 2 boxes of chocolate."

"for who?"

"myself and my family."

"$200 on clothing?"

"ummm....yes. and the other stuff i mentioned two seconds ago."

"are you in a relationship with anyone in san francisco? romantically."

"no."

he then encircled the $200 part and handed me back my declaration card. so i proceeded to pick up my baggage. before i exit with my stuff, i handed my card to another officer. he looked at it and then sent me to the room where they inspect your things and ask even more questions.

when i was in that room and patiently waiting for my turn, i started to enumerate any "acceptable" reason why my baggage is going to be searched. i came up with zero. coz if it's the $200 that i spent....WTH?! that's not even close to a fraction of the regulation limit of $10000. 

when it was my turn, officer #2 swabbed and scanned my things. he asked me pretty much the same things officer #1 asked....except for the male or female and relationships part. he asked me more questions while unpacking my backpack. 

"how long did you stay in the states?"

"almost three weeks."

"did you go anywhere else aside from san francisco?"

"yes. i was in new york for about a week. went to chicago and then san francisco."

"what did you do in new york?"

"i went to the US open in queens."

looking puzzled, "and you went by yourself?"

it's amazing how they seem to have never heard of single travellers before. 

"yes. it's easier."

"how much did you spend on tickets?"

i started explaining to him about the whole grounds pass thing. why it is better than getting tickets to ashe stadium during the early rounds. he agreed with me and appeared to have noted some USO "tips" from me. 

"did you watch the finals?"

"yes. nadal owned novak."

he then started talking about the top players. the pre-wimbledon 2013 top 4, serena, venus' health, sharapova's shoulder, ashe stadium's rooflessness, etc. i just nodded along. 

"blah blah blah serena's serve blah blah blah pete sampras' serve."

i inserted stan's backhand in our conversation just because. at that point, my backpack and carry-on was slayed empty.

"alright i think we're done here. you may now repack these and go."

"oh okay. great."

"sorry for dismantling your stuff. do you need help?"

"yes, you douchebag! repack my shit! you people brought me in here to chat me up about tennis?! wtf?! why did you guys bring me in here?! why did you have to murder my backpack?!" is what i should've said. 

but instead, i said "no, i can do it myself. thanks anyway."

"alright. take care. nice talking to you."

"yes, i'm a delight."

when i got home, i brushed my teeth, washed my face, and looked at that wholesome (not) imagery reflected in the mirror. holy shit....the red patches around my left cornea. officer #1 probably thought i was high. yeah for some unrelated to drug reasons, there were red patches (could be blood) around my eye that lasted for more than a week. i don't know how and why. 





so my conclusion to this whole border security experience is.....red patches. oy.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

falling

falling

with his best to not make a sound, he ever so gently opened the door. he slowly popped his head into the darkness of the once very familiar room. "i should still know my way around this spot, right?" he whispered to himself. with eyes squinting against the sight of nothingness, he continued to walk. then BAM! his head introduced itself to the cement wall and fell on his face to the floor. a familiar voice came in full volume saying, "you are done, buddy! yo trevor, you're up!"

it's a drunk game.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

high fiving a million angels

all good things must come to an end. sadly, one of those good things is 30 rock. blergh!

30 rock is one of the smartest shows ever written. oh and the live shows! their live shows were the best!

so here, internetz, allow me to share a few of the MANY brilliant lines from 30 rock...


liz lemon: "i want to go to there."



tracy jordan: "cause i'm gonna drop truth bombs. you know how pissed off i was when US weekly said i was on crack? that's racist! i'm not on crack. i'm straight up mentally ill!"

liz lemon: "there ain't no party like a liz lemon party coz a liz lemon party is mandatory."


jack donaghy: "TGS with tracy jordan without tracy jordan is an oxymoron, like "liberal government" or "female scientist."

jenna maroney: "listen up, fives. a ten is speaking."

they also made fun of other shows. for example: grey's anatomy...featuring NYC's radioman!


tracy jordan: "i love this cornbread so much i want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant."

kenneth parcell: "be a good listener, a giver of gifts, and work that vajayjay."


kenneth parcell: "and mr. jordan himself said, "don't let no one in who's not on the list 'cause this mess is gonna get raw like sushi." so haters to the left." 

jenna maroney: "my vagina is a convenience store. clean and reliable. and closed on christmas."


liz lemon: "did you really think i wouldn't recognize my college futon with its trademark absence of sex stains?"

tracy jordan: " dress everyday like you're going to get murdered in those clothes."

jack donaghy: "do you know what price i am in the gay community? there's a term for it. i'm a bear and i'm a daddy. i'm a daddy bear."




also 15 lessons liz lemon taught all of us. thank you, liz! 
and most of all...THANK YOU, TINA FEY!


LEMON OUT!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

what i would've tweeted: YVR - ICN

- 11:40 hours long flight to seoul, korea. oh boy, my ass.

- spacious economy class cabin is spacious, yo!

- and really good selection of inflight movies too! first movie: ted. he came back to life!! he's jesus!!

- we are seating next to this really nice korean guy. he's from edmonton too. he asked, "how come there are lots filipinos in millwoods?"

- 10 minutes into the flight...boom! turbulence.

- dang! i forgot how much food they serve here! and delicious too! seriously, not too bad for plane food.

- already on my third glass of wine.

- no whiny kids on this flight so... this is a bit awkward. i got nothing to complain about. hehe.

- aaron tveit was on premium rush??

- i'm probably late on the bandwagon but....premium rush was so good!!

- 4:23 hrs til seoul.

- patabaing baboy - fattening pig

- oh my sister is cracking me up like eggs for some benedict.

- michelle's take on the flight attendants: "ate, they look like princesses. i want to take one home!"

- celeste and jesse forever!!!!!!

- you got everything i need. you're like a medicine to me.

- 5 mins til land time! breathe. ass. breathe!

- kowreeyaaa!!